The Counseling Process

I want to help you live well.

Living well does not simply mean living without problems; it means living for something that is deeply meaningful to you. Maybe for you, living well means resolving depression so you can be the mother, husband, or friend you want to be. Maybe it means managing your anxiety better so you will feel up to volunteering again. Maybe it means finding a creative solution to a behavioral problem your child is experiencing so you can connect more. I want to help you reach your goals. My hope is that by removing the obstacles that are hindering the way, you will be able to pursue the goals in life that are most important to you and which reflect your deepest values.

I start this process by getting to know you. What are you struggling with? How do you think you got there? What life events shaped you to be the person you are today? How have you successfully overcome obstacles in the past?

Next, we will discuss, examine, and clarify your values in order to set goals that will help you live these values out. We will begin this by prioritizing which ones are most important to you and try to determine if some of your values might actually be sabotaging other values. Perhaps you enjoy gambling but are finding yourself further and further in debt and jeopardizing your relationship with your family. Other times, we have far too many values that seem equally important and we become exhausted trying to do everything. Perhaps you feel guilty for not working enough hours at your job and for not spending enough time with your children even if it isn’t possible to do both. Together, you and I will try to reprioritize your values in a healthy way.

Once I understand your history and your values, we will set goals that will bring you closest to living your values out most fully. We will break down your goals into small and manageable steps. We will examine what you have already tried and what hasn’t worked so far. We will also try to find ways you have accomplished goals in the past and use the tools you have already found to be successful. Perhaps you have struggled with anxiety in the past and found that exercising helped you. I will encourage you to do more of what is working and to do less of what is not.

My Approach to Counseling

There is not a one-size fits all approach to counseling. Instead, I combine and utilize different elements of different counseling approaches to help you reach your goals. Although I draw from many different theories and approaches, my favorites are cognitive behavioral therapy, motivational interviewing, and acceptance and commitment therapy. Since I lean most heavily on these, I’ll provide a little bit of information about each.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is an approach that involves examining distortions in our thinking that might be contributing to our problems, and finding strategies to restructure our thinking. There is a lot of research to support cognitive behavioral therapy as being a highly effective form of treatment for a wide variety of issues. Since it is so well-researched, I love being able to help people find hope that they will be able to benefit from counseling just like others have in the past.

Motivational interviewing is an approach that involves resolving ambivalence about change through clarifying values and reflecting on the benefits of change. All of this is done in the context of a supportive relationship, and the result is enhanced motivation. This approach is a lot different than a confrontive, authoritarian style, and that is why I like it. No one likes to be forced or bullied to change – we want to be supported to make choices we truly and deeply already want to make for ourselves.

Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) is an approach that is largely used in the treatment of anxiety disorders. The goal of this approach is to help a person find ways to meet their goals even if anxiety is present. This is accomplished by learning how to tolerate some of the distress of anxiety while finding the motivation to pursue goals by clarifying the importance of these to the person. I like this approach because it does not see the end goal as simply symptom reduction, but rather living out values.